batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
