You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
