Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
