u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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