I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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