I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
