Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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