Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
