i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
