Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
