the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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