I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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