the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
