I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Actions speak louder than pants.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
