Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
