I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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