Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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