i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
