waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
