He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
