I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Jerry, you need to find god
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
