me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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