A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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