I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
