Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
