my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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