I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
