i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
