Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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