Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
