whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize