Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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