Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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