you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
