NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
