i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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