Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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