plz talk dirty to me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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