Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
