how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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