I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
