During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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