One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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