Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
