That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
