Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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