Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
