He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
