And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
