Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
