So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
