I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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