his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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