We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
