Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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