I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
