i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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