the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
