imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
