return my video game
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize