i jhust puked up my retainher.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
