Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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