i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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