and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
