I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
it glows. i had to have it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
