you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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