i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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