I'm drive I can fine osifer
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I want a musical about memes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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