So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
