The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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